


Going Home

by clairefrsr



Category: Outlander (TV), Outlander Series - Diana Gabaldon
Genre: Alternate Universe - Outlander Fusion, Drama & Romance, F/M, Family, Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-16
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:48:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24755788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/clairefrsr/pseuds/clairefrsr
Summary: When Frank suddenly dies in a car crash seven years after Claire returned to him, she discovers a document that reveals that Jamie didn't die at Culloden. With her newfound freedom and evidence of Jamie's existence, Claire decides it's time to go back through the stones, not only to reunite with the love of her life but to introduce him to their now seven-year-old daughter.
Relationships: Claire Beauchamp/Jamie Fraser, Jamie Fraser/Brianna Randall Fraser MacKenzie
Comments: 94
Kudos: 188





	1. Prologue

It had been a month since Frank’s death and I still hadn’t gotten round to clearing his office. That one room in the house held so many memories and I hadn’t been able to bring myself to step inside. Had it not been for the letter that had arrived that morning, I don’t believe I ever would have.

I didn’t know how long I had been sat at Frank’s desk, staring down at the document that lay amongst several other pieces of paper I had pulled out from the desk drawers, frantically searching for the one I was now in possession of.

My eyes fluttered open and closed as the tears that had been building up in them began to roll down my cheeks. Despite my vision being impaired by the droplets in my eyes, I could still make out the wording and the name on the document. It was a name I hadn’t mentioned in over six years, but not one day had passed without me picturing the face behind the name. 

James Fraser.

He was alive.

How long had Frank had this piece of paper? How long had he known? Why hadn’t he told me? Was he afraid I’d go back if I knew? 

I still couldn’t believe what I was holding. My trembling fingers brushed over his name as I remembered the feeling of my hand against his cheek. My fingers tracing his chiseled jawline, the roughness of his beard prickling my fingertips but the softness underneath causing the hairs on my arm to stand up. 

The sound of a car horn outside caused my eyes to open and brought me back to reality. My breathing was now much heavier, my chest rose and fell as I tried to regain my composure. I was overwhelmed by the fact that Jamie was alive and whole, and living his life on the other side of the stones. I had spent the last seven years believing the man I loved to be dead. The urge to go back to him was stronger than anything I had ever felt. I could almost hear the stones calling out to me.

I was once again pulled out of my reverie by the light sound of footsteps running down the stairs. I stood up, glanced at the document once more, just to make sure it was still there, and made my way towards the door. I had spent seven years not knowing what happened at Culloden, thinking Jamie was dead. It had been unbearable at the best of times, but I had always taken comfort in the fact that I had Brianna. Her resemblance to her father could have been painful, but it was quite the opposite. I saw so much of him in her. When she got cross or threw a tantrum, all I could ever see was him. It made it quite impossible to ground her. 

Brianna might only have been young, but she saved me, in so many ways as her father had done before her. Having her with me had always been like having a part of Jamie with me. She was so like him. But I felt my heart break a little, knowing that Jamie was alone. He had no idea whether I had got back safely, whether our child was alive and well. He had yearned to be a father as much as I had yearned to give him a child. All those years, I had wanted nothing more than to take Brianna through the stones with me, back to Jamie, back to where I felt we both belonged. But I could never have done that to Frank. No, he had loved Brianna as though she was his own from the very day she was born, and in return, she had loved him, and he was, for all intents and purposes her father. I could never have split the two of them up.

But now everything was different. I could feel it. I would never have wished Frank dead. I had loved him once and he would always be my first love. But there was no denying his death had set me free. I was now free to listen to my heart, and it seemed to be beating to the drums of an old Scottish folk song. The hairs on my spine seemed to stand up and I was overwhelmed by the possibility of seeing Jamie again. I closed my eyes and there he was, this tall, handsome, highlander, his eyes so full of love and lust transfixed on me. His ginger locks blew ever so gently in the light breeze and his hand reached out for mine, as though he was telling me it was time to go back.

“Mama!” At Brianna’s call, I quickly tidied myself up, wiped the drying tears from my cheeks, and took a breath before pulling the door open and putting on a smile, which for the first time in so long, was genuine.

“What is it, darling?” 

Bree never failed to amaze me. Barely a month had passed since Frank’s death and there she was, smiling brighter than ever, excitedly pushing a drawing into my hands. It had of course been difficult at first. Brianna and Frank had been incredibly close, she adored him. His death had hit her hard, perhaps harder than it had hit me. In the beginning, I had thought the tears would never stop. But she had the brilliant ability to bounce back, it seemed. And that she had. 

It seemed she was able to adapt quickly, which would serve her well, should I choose to take her through the stones. Had I not had Brianna to consider, I wouldn’t have waited a second longer to return to Jamie. But the fact was, I was a mother now and decisions of that enormity could not be made hastily. I had to do what was best for Bree.

My thoughts on that matter would have to wait, though. When I had visited Frank in the hospital, I had taken his hand in mine and vowed to put Brianna before anything else. I had taken too much time for myself since returning to the 20th century. I had put my needs to become a doctor above everything else, which had meant sacrificing precious time with Bree. I handed my notice in that day. Brianna needed me then more than ever and I would be there for her, no matter what. I wasn’t able to give her the attention she needed due to my busy schedule and I suppose Frank’s death was the wake-up call I needed.

I took one look at Brianna’s bright grin and glanced down at the drawing she had presented me with, while she impatiently awaited my acknowledgment of her talent. 

“This is beautiful, Bree,” I began, but as I took another look, my breath was taken away by the familiar figure she had drawn. “Bree, who is this?” My tone changed suddenly as my mind filled with questions. I pointed to the man in her drawing who bore a striking resemblance to Jamie. I can’t remember my exact words at that moment, I’m not even sure whether I said anything else or not. Did she know something?

Before I could question her further, she took the paper from my hands, placed it on the table in front of us and pointed at the man’s kilt. 

“It’s the Highlander from your stories, Mama,” she explained. “Look, that’s his kilt and that’s-”

She went on to point out all the elements she had drawn. But I had unknowingly stopped listening. I had in fact told Brianna stories of the “Scottish Highlander” when she was younger in the guise of bedtime stories. I had told her all about the adventures he went on, about how strong and brave he was. About how he would ride into battle on his horse and win every time. I had told her about his little castle, Lallybroch, in which he lived with his wife, and their many children. I had told her about the time in which he lived, about how different it was back then, and about how beautiful and untouched the land was. But I had never mentioned the colour of his hair, nor the colour of his eyes. I had never in fact, given her a physical description of him. And yet she had drawn every little detail, down to the curls in his hair.

“Are you alright, Mama?” My hand shot up to my face as I realised I had been crying. I quickly wiped any evidence of sadness from my face and replaced it with a forced smile. 

“Yes,” I lied. “I’m just-” I pursed my lips and clasped my hands together as I searched for something to say. I’m never usually at a loss for words but it seemed Jamie Fraser had the ability to take my breath away, all the way from 18th century Scotland!

“I’m just surprised you remember those stories!” I admitted. Due to my long shifts, I hadn’t been able to read to her for a very long time. Frank had taken over from me when I had begun working at the hospital. The last time I had told her stories of the “Highlander” had to have been over three years ago. I hadn’t realised they had had such an impact on her. 

Making up stories had allowed me to tell Brianna about Jamie without giving anything away. She knew all about him and his family. She had only been very young at the time but I had told her about the wars, the battles and trials he had faced - never in detail, of course, and always in the shape of a bedtime story. But nonetheless, she knew everything. I had very much enjoyed our storytime. The tales were meant to soothe her until she fell asleep, but I found myself impatiently awaiting that moment every day, looking forward to telling my daughter about her father. Knowing I could never allow Bree to find out about Jamie, that was the closest thing I had to telling her the truth. 

Perhaps now it was time to cease hiding behind the stories and tell her that her brave Scottish Highlander was not a mere fairytale but a very real person indeed. But I couldn’t help but wonder, would she believe me if I did?


	2. Chapter 2

I didn’t sleep a wink that night. I hadn’t even made it to bed. After kissing Bree goodnight, I had made my way back downstairs and into the living room. After pouring myself a whiskey, or two, I had settled on the sofa and draped a throw around my shoulders. This particular throw was one I had picked up on a market one day on my way back from work. It had been a warm autumn evening and I had been walking through the park when the tartan garment had caught my eye. It wasn’t Fraser colours, but it was the closest thing I had seen to the tartan Jamie had gifted me. Whenever I wrapped it around myself, I felt a warm comforting sensation, not from the knitted fabric, but from the memory of Jamie’s strong arms wrapped tightly around my frame as he draped the tartan over my shoulders. It provided me with a sense of solace I couldn’t find anywhere else.

I would often close my eyes and indulge in the memory of his muscular body curled around my own. I could almost feel his hands, so masculine yet so gentle, cradling me, caressing me. His fingers, barely touching my skin, would trace a path up and down my arm, triggering little goosebumps all over my body. If I focused hard enough, I could feel his hot breath against the arch of my neck and the soft kisses he planted, one after the other, along my jawline and onto my parted lips.

I reached out a hand to stroke his cheek but was once again hit with the realization that he wasn’t there. I was alone. I had long gotten used to the disappointment I would be met with every time I awoke from a dream only to find that it had in fact been just that - a dream. Nothing more. But it was only then that I realised it didn’t have to be just a figment of my imagination anymore. Not if I didn’t want it to be.

The thought made me shiver. I took a sip from my glass as my attention turned to a photograph of Brianna on the wall. I stared at it and smiled as the memories of the day it was taken came back to me. She must have only been four or five. Frank and I had taken her to the countryside for the weekend and she had spent the day running up and down the hills, rolling around in the grass, making daisy chains. I remember thinking how right it looked. Brianna playing happily amongst the trees, her long red hair blowing in the wind and turning golden as the sun hit it. She had been running towards me, arms spread out, teeth proudly on display as she grinned brighter than she ever had before when I captured the shot. I had never mentioned it to Frank, but she looked so much like Jamie in that photo. 

I hadn’t yet made up my mind on whether or not to tell Brianna everything. I had been toing and froing ever since I found out about Jamie being alive. I had so many questions and no one to go to for advice. I could hardly ask Joe what he thought about me taking my daughter back in time two hundred years to meet the father she never knew she had, could I? 

I let my head fall forwards into the palms of my hands with a groan as I weighed my options. In a perfect world, I’d tell Bree as soon as she woke up and she’d be as excited as I was to go back, she’d pack her things and we’d set off for Scotland. Then again, in a perfect world, I would never have left Jamie in the first place. 

If she did believe me and was willing to go, how safe would it be for her there? I knew for a fact that Culloden was only one in a long line of battles, not to mention wars that would take place in Jamie’s lifetime. She was safe here. I had enough money, from my wage and Frank’s will for the two of us to live a more than comfortable life here in America. Her friends were here, her school… It would be selfish of me to take her away from everything she knew and loved. She had everything she could ever need here… Everything except a father. A real father, who I knew would love her, protect her, teach her and give his own life for hers should it come to it. Yes, if there was one thing I knew, it was that Jamie Fraser would not let anyone harm the people he loved.

I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of seeing him again after all those years. I could finally give him the daughter he never thought he’d see. I leaned back against the couch and squeezed my eyes shut as a tear escaped me. I thought back to Faith and how Jamie never got the chance to see her sweet face. How he never got to feel the weight of her tiny body in his arms. I picked up a handkerchief from the side table and wiped my tears before taking another sip from my glass. I could see Faith clear as day whenever I closed my eyes, I would always have the memory of her, but Jamie didn’t even have that.  
There wasn’t a doubt in my mind that Jamie would be a wonderful father. My heart broke a little knowing I had taken his much-wanted child away with me the day I left, depriving him of raising yet another one of his children.

I think I knew then, deep down in my heart that the decision had been made. Brianna needed a father as much as I needed Jamie. I had spent seven years without him and I wasn’t sure that I could survive another seven.

There seemed to be a force between Jamie and I, pulling us towards one another. Perhaps that is the reason I went to Craig Na Dun that day with Frank. Perhaps I was always meant to go through the stones. There was an indescribable electricity between the two of us when we were together, it was almost other-worldly. It was something I had never felt before and not being able to be with Jamie seemed to be having the opposite effect on me. I wasn’t completely whole without him. I had left a part of me behind in Scotland and without it, I didn’t feel that I could ever be the person I was meant to be.

I seemed to drift into a reflective trans after that. I remember pouring myself another drink and sitting in silence for hours on end, contemplating going back. Thinking about the life the three of us could have together, and most of all, wondering whether it was all too good to be true.

Despite my endless worrying and self-doubt, there seemed to be a voice telling me that I had been given a second chance and I couldn’t help but feel I would be a fool not to grasp it with both hands.

I remember hearing the sound of the letterbox opening and the newspaper being pushed through it onto the wooden floor. It was only at that point that I realised how long I had been sat there. I didn’t need to look at my watch, the postman always went by at ten to seven. 

I straightened my legs and let my feet slowly get used to the cool floor before I stood up. I stretched, arching my back, feeling the after-effects of a night spent curled up on a couch. I had gotten used to sleeping in uncomfortable places when I was with Jamie. We’d often have to sleep on the cold, wet ground with only a campfire and each other’s bodies for heat. And we had grown accustomed to sleeping on the hard wooden floor by the fire too, despite having an empty bed in that same room. But my sore muscles reminded me that I wasn’t as young as I had been and I knew my body wouldn’t thank me if it became a regular occurrence.

My hands found their way to my hair as I untangled the knots, dragging my feet towards the kitchen for a much-needed coffee. My eyes hadn’t completely adjusted to the light straight away and I was starting to feel the beginning of a headache coming on. The thought of waking Brianna up and taking her to school wasn’t exactly appealing. 

I popped some waffles into the toaster, knowing how much Bree liked them, while I sipped my morning coffee. The caffeine seemed to be just what I needed and I felt instant relief as the hot liquid warmed my throat and stomach. 

I decided not to mention anything to Brianna that morning; I’d get her up and ready for school, feed her her favourite breakfast, and pack her something nice in her lunchbox and give myself the day to prepare for the talk we were going to have later that afternoon. I would need that time to calm my nerves, anyway. It wasn’t going to be an easy conversation, that I knew for sure. How do you tell a seven-year-old that the man she believed to be her father was in fact not related to her at all and that her real father lived not only in another country but in another time?

Brianna was a breath of fresh air, and the kindest, most loving child you could ever meet. But, like Jamie and I, she did have a rather stubborn side that she wasn’t afraid to show. Still, I was hopeful. She was very mature for her age and had a good understanding of things. I hoped that that combined with her good nature would help her to understand what I was going to tell her.

Later on that day, I met Bree at school. The smile on her face when she spotted me across the playground caused my chest to tighten. I didn’t feel ready to tell her, knowing that I would be wiping that smile from her face. But I knew that if I didn’t tell now, I never would. I would have to delve deep down and pluck up the courage to break the news to her.

I somehow managed to plaster a smile on my face and lift a hand to wave at her as she ran towards me, pushing her way through the crowd.

“Mama!” She threw herself into my arms and wrapped her arms and legs around me, almost knocking me off my feet.

“Oh, you’re getting too big for this,” I joked as I bounced her up so as to get a better grip on her. It was the little moments like these that I treasured. She was growing up fast and I knew she wouldn’t always leap into my arms without a care in the world. Just then, she pulled back so that she could look me in the face.

“Guess what we did in school today, Mama!” Her voice was full of excitement and I could tell that whatever they had done in class had pleased her. I loved her enthusiasm for school and learning new things. It was such a pleasure to witness. I would be sorry to take her away from it. But I vowed to keep up her education no matter where we ended up.

Before I could ask her about it, she had already begun to tell me.

“Miss Campbell asked us to choose a country and to write a few lines about it and I chose Scotland - you know about Scotland, don’t you Mama? Will you help me?”

Of all the places she could have chosen… “Scotland, ey?” I looked at her questioningly for a moment, wondering why she had suddenly become so interested in Scotland. I did find it rather curious, but I couldn’t help but feel a wave of happiness wash over me at the idea of Brianna wanting to know more about her heritage - not that she was aware of it yet.

“I’ll tell you what,” I began, “Why don’t you and I go for ice cream and I’ll tell you all about it?” Perhaps her newfound love for Scotland would make breaking the news a lot easier than I had hoped.

At my suggestion, her eyes lit up. If there was one thing I knew would make her smile, it was ice cream. 

We found a bench to settle on in the park and I decided now was as good a time as any to open up to her. I glanced over at her as she tried to eat her ice cream before it melted in the sun, unaware of the chocolate mustache and beard she had given herself. I would have laughed had I not been so nervous.

“Bree…” I got a mumble in response. She seemed to be paying more attention to her fast-melting ice cream than she was to me. I looked down at my hands that I had anxiously been rubbing together, so much so that they had turned red. Pull yourself together. I thought to myself.

At my own ticking off, I took a deep breath, lifted my head and stared out at the trees covering the lawn in front of us. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I had to end it on a cliffhanger! But had I not ended it here, this chapter would have been far too long. I hope you understand! The next chapter should be up in a couple of days anyway.
> 
> Just wanted to give a quick shoutout to Em, for always supporting me and for the help she has given me.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it.


	3. Chapter 3

“What is it, Mama?” Her sweet innocence and laidback nature was quite a contrast to my current state of mind. I watched her, happily indulging in her favourite after school snack, and I was at a loss for words.

But, I had brought up the subject, and I must see it through. I took yet another breath, filling my lungs with the rather polluted inner-city air and took a leap of faith.

“Darling, you know the stories I always told you?”

“About the highlander?” Ah, now it seemed I had her attention. Ignoring her ice cream, she had turned to me, all of a sudden interested in the conversation I had started. I was still quite mesmerized by how much she seemed to cherish those stories. 

I nodded in response which seemed to trigger a questioning yet gleeful reaction from her. 

“Well, you see…” I began rather hesitantly. I hadn’t realised how bad I was at this type of thing. I had once had to explain my disappearance to Frank. I had told him about the stones, the time travel, about Jamie… He was hesitant at first, but he had believed me. I hoped that Brianna would do the same. But would she understand? Could she understand? Frank was a grown man, a historian. He had heard about Craig Na Dun and its stories before. Brianna, on the other hand, was a seven-year-old child who had never left her hometown. She had no knowledge of what was out there, let alone the strange happenings of the most secluded parts of Scotland. 

“Brianna…” I shuffled a little closer to her and stared down at her as softly as I could, making sure I had her undivided attention. “Everything I told you… About the highlander, about Scotland and Lallybroch… It’s all true.” 

There it was. I had hoped it would get easier once I’d begun talking, but it seemed that was the easy part. The hardest was yet to come.

Brianna cocked her head sideways, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. 

“What do you mean?” Her melting ice cream dripped down onto her skirt, but this seemed to go unnoticed by her. She was now far too intrigued by what I had to say. 

“Now I know this is going to sound a little odd to you…” There really wasn’t an easy way around this. I decided to be as honest as I could. There was no sense in tiptoeing around it. She would come to know everything one way or another so I thought it best I tell her the whole story now.

“There is a place in Scotland called Craig Na Dun,” I said. “It’s made up of tall stones at the top of a hill. Those stones, Brianna, are doorways… to the past.” I looked deep into her eyes, looking for a clue as so whether or not she believed me. Her face, however, seemed to remain in a state of confusion. I worried that I was putting too much pressure on her. After all, it was a lot of information for a seven-year-old to take in. 

Despite this, her questioning silence and confused look prompted me to go on.

“When I was younger - just after I had married your father, we went on holiday to Scotland and we visited Craig Na Dun.” The remains of her ice cream were long forgotten about. She listened to me so intently, it was almost as though her life depended on it.   
“I went up there one day, on my own and I heard a noise- a buzzing noise that drew me toward the biggest of the stones. I walked towards it, placed my hands against it, and-” I paused. I looked away from her questioning gaze for a moment, taking the time to calm my nerves. I hadn’t spoken a word about this to anyone since I had been interrogated by Frank all those years ago. It wasn’t something that I found easy to talk about. I had kept my thoughts and memories of that part of my life locked safely away in a part of my brain I never thought I’d have to revisit. Now it seemed I had given Brianna the key and she was about to know everything.

“When I touched the stone,” I said, turning to face her once again, “I was taken back in time… To 18th century Scotland.”

I kept my eyes locked on hers. I held my breath, waiting for her to say something, to react. 

“Is this another story?” Her voice was low, wary. She looked at me as though she already knew the answer to her own question, but felt the need to ask anyway. I didn’t blame her. I’m not sure I’d have believed it myself had I not lived it. 

I shook my head. “No, darling. This isn’t another story.” I couldn’t help but move closer to her, to reassure and comfort her. I reached out and ran my hand up and down her arm as tenderly as I could. I watched her. Every expression, every emotion that seemed to cross her face. Her eyes left mine and she diverted her attention to the ground in front of her instead. 

There were hundreds of people in the park. Some were walking their dogs, others were playing in the grass, others were meeting up with friends and chatting about their everyday lives. And yet, silence seemed to surround us. I waited with bated breath for Bree to say something. It had only been a minute since I last spoke but it seemed like an eternity. I had decided to give her all the time she needed, but I was growing quite impatient.

Just as I was about to speak, she lifted her head.

“Isn’t that where the highlander lived?” She paused for a brief second as though her mind seemed to piece together the remaining pieces of the puzzle. I could see in her eyes that she had understood. “Did you know the highlander, Mama?”

I could feel my chest tightening as I tried to suppress the tears I felt tingling in my eyes. Did this mean she believed me? I pressed my lips tightly together in an attempt to stop myself from crying in front of her. I had kept everything to myself for so long, I hadn’t realised how good it would feel to let it all out. Now here I was, revealing my deepest, darkest secrets to the one person I loved more than anything in the world.

I nodded. Unable to keep my emotions under wrap any longer, I smiled at her as a single tear ran down the side of my cheek.

“Yes,” I said as that one tear was followed by many more. “His name is Jamie Fraser.” I had never mentioned his name before, despite having wanted to so many times. Frank and I had agreed that we would not divulge any information on Jamie to Brianna in case she ever looked him up when she was older. It had broken my heart at the time. I had wanted nothing more than to tell my daughter about the father who had given up everything he loved to keep her safe. Knowing that Brianna now knew his name filled my heart with happiness. 

“Why are you crying, Mama?” She looked up at me, her eyes full of concern, and reached for my head with her rather sticky, ice cream covered hand. I curled my fingers around hers and squeezed her hand tightly as I wiped the remaining tears from my cheeks. It was at that moment that I realised that my baby was all grown up. I felt myself fill with an unimaginable sense of pride. I looked down at her little hand, interlocked with my own, and smiled to myself. She certainly knew how to make me feel better. She had gotten that from her father.

“I’m just so happy to be telling you about Jamie,” I said. I wanted so much to be able to call him her father, but I had no idea how to break the news to her. I was worried that something this big would affect our relationship. Brianna and I had always been incredibly close. With Jamie not being able to be there, I had loved her for the both of us. Brianna wasn’t just my daughter, she was also my best friend. Despite her young age, we had shared so much. I couldn’t bear to lose her trust now. 

In spite of that, I knew I had to tell her. The longer I left it, the worse it would be. I wanted to be able to tell her now so that she and Jamie could get to know each other while she was still young. I would never forgive myself if I kept her away from him for much longer.

We sat there, in the park for a little while longer. She asked me questions about Jamie, and I was happy to answer them. She asked me how I had met him. I hadn’t wanted to go into too much detail so I told her that I had been lost and that I had come across him and he had helped me find my way, which wasn’t too far from the truth. She asked me if he was as big and strong as I had described him in my stories. I told her he was bigger and stronger than she could possibly imagine. I watched her eyes light up as she marveled at the things I told her. 

By the time we left the park, Brianna knew almost everything there was to know about Jamie. She knew about his family, his likes and dislikes, his ability to speak Gaelic… I had told her everything I could think of. Everything, but the most important thing. I had decided that I would take her home first, give her time to take in everything I had told her so far. Although I had wanted to tell her there and then, I thought it best I tell her in the privacy of our home. 

Once we had arrived home, I had left her to play on her own for a while and had retired to my own room to prepare myself for what was to come. I often found myself talking to Jamie, all the while aware of his inability to hear me. I’d ask him for help, or advice… Every time Brianna reached a new milestone, I’d tell him. 

Laying alone in my bed, I had once again found myself wishing that he were here with me, that I didn’t have to face telling Brianna on my own. I knew that if he were here, he’d take me into his arms and tell me that everything would be alright. It was the thought of being in his arms again that prompted me to get up and go find Brianna.

I had gone downstairs and called her down from her room. I sat down on the couch and gestured for her to join me. I think she knew, despite her young age that there was more to the story than I was letting on. 

“What is it, Mama?” She asked, crossing her legs and settling herself beside me. “Is this about Jamie?”

Just hearing her say his name could have brought tears to my eyes, but I had told myself that I would be strong this time. No tears. This was it. I was about to turn my daughter’s world upside down and she had no idea.

I took her hands in mine, gently stroking over her knuckles with my thumb. “Bree, I’m about to tell you something very important. Now, it won’t be easy and it may be upsetting, but I want you to know that it’s alright for you to be upset, it’s perfectly normal. Just know that I love you and that I never intended to hurt you. Okay?” I looked her straight in the eyes and repeated myself to make sure she understood. “I love you.”

She nodded hesitantly, but I could tell that I had frightened her. I had never had to talk to her like this before. No one ever prepares you for this sort of thing. There aren’t any guidelines to follow when it comes to being a parent, and there certainly weren’t any for this. 

I had imagined all the possible scenarios in my head throughout the day. I felt that I was now ready to tell her. No matter how scared I might have been, Brianna deserved to know the truth.

“I want you to remember that your father loved you very much. You were his world. You know that, don’t you?”

I could tell I had pulled at a heartstring at the mention of Frank. I felt awful for having to put her through this. She ducked her head slightly and let go of my hand to wipe away an escaped tear. I couldn’t help but reach out and stroke her hair in an attempt to soothe and comfort her.

“The truth is…” Here it goes. “Frank loved you from the moment you were born. He brought you up, and he did everything a father should do. But…” I ran my hand down her hair and cupped her cheek. “Frank wasn’t your real father— Jamie is.”

The look she gave me made me feel sick to my stomach. She seemed almost unrecognisable to me in that split second. I had never seen her look at me that way before. Her eyes filled with tears, but it was not sadness I saw in them. It was betrayal. Somehow that was worse.

“No!” She shouted, pulling her hands out of my own. “You’re lying!” Unable to hold back my own tears, I tried to reason with her but before I could say anything she was on her feet and running away. She had never spoken to me that way before and I wasn’t quite sure how to react. Her words had pierced my heart like a dagger. All I wanted to do was to scoop her up, hold her against my chest, and make everything better. 

“Bree, please!” My voice cracked as I watched her run up the stairs. No longer able to stop myself, I let the tears stream down my face. I debated going after her, but I thought it best to give her some time alone. I curled up into the comfort of my couch and allowed myself to cry properly for the first time in seven years.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this chapter took a little longer to write. It was a difficult one for me as I had to figure out how Claire would break the news to a seven-year-old Brianna. I do find writing adults a lot easier than writing children, but I won't shy away from it. It might just take me a little longer.
> 
> Thank you so much for continuing to read my chapters and for supporting me. It means a lot! I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter. The next one should be up sometime this week.
> 
> V x

**Author's Note:**

> So that was my first ever fanfic chapter, I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! If not, go easy on me!  
> Chapter 2 is in the works so you shouldn't have to wait too long.  
> Let me know what you thought. And thanks for reading!


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